So, I went to see a psychologist to do some testing for Aspergers Syndrome. I've met with him three times, twice with Daniel. After answering a lot of questions, I found out:
Yes, I do have Aspergers Sydrome, a form of autism.
I have lots of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I have a sense of relief. After years of wondering why in the world I just couldn't "get" what others were getting, why I had such a hard time keeping jobs, or why working in the church has been such a disaster at times, I finally know why: my brain is wired way differently than most people. As my dear Daniel said, I now have a key that can help answer some questions.
The other part of me wonders what to do now. Can I still be an effective pastor?
I will be meeting with the psychologist for a few more times to now deal with the diagnosis and go from there. The good thing is I now know my weirdness has a name.
I'm not an idiot, just autistic. :)