Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner, Yada Yada Yada

"Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner." This is one of those cliches that Christians tend to use (or at least I've heard people use them, I don't remember hearing someone say it) and one Christian in particular doesn't like it. Here's what Christian Piatt (a fellow Disciples of Christ pastor) has to say about this:

This is a backhanded way to tell someone you love them, at best. It also ignores the command by Jesus not to focus on the splinter in our neighbors’ eyes while a plank remains in our own. Bottom line: we all screw up, and naming others’ sin as noteworthy while remaining silent about your own is arrogant.

Many Christians, mostly those in Mainline churches, hate the phrase and with reason: it's been associated with how some Christians have viewed LGBT folks. While I've never heard people say this, it is common for more conservative Christians to act this out and in some cases there's been more focus on hating the sin than there is on loving the sinner. Because of this tendency, there has been a move to basically be offended at this practice. "Mind your own damn business!" Is the response from most people. While I understand the tendency, I feel we are losing something in throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

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Robot Love

Someone at church alerted me to this recent article in the New York Times about a man with Aspergers and his wife and how they try to make their marriage work. It reminded me of the common frustrations that Daniel has to deal with concerning little ole me. Marrying someone with Aspergers can be a chore. I think any neurotypical person who is in a relationship with someone who has Aspergers has to be a saint to put up with our quirks.

But I think in the end, it's worth it for them. Recently, Daniel was dealing with a bug. He was home resting and in his usual Norwegian fashion, acting like he could handle this on his own. I realized he needed to take something for this illness and went to Target and got him the medicine he needed. When I came home, he said he needed said medicine and that I needed to go and get some. I handed him the pills. For Daniel this was wonderful. It showed that I cared. For me, it was simply assessing the situation: Daniel was ill. This medicine would help. I will get the medicine so that when he is ready, it is available.

Simple and logical.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that while we are not the most attentive persons in the world and can get on their nerves, we Aspies can be effective lovers, even if it is a bit robotic.

But neurotypicals help learn to be more empathic. Daniel has helped me understand the joys of life and is willing to get me out of my ruts. It's scary, but in the end, I'm glad when he has done it.

Marriage can be quite an adventure, huh?