Are Mainline Churches Like Detroit?

I've been wondering lately if there is anything in common with Mainline Protestant Churches and the American Auto Industry.

Having been ordained in a mainline denomination, working for a church going through change and having two parents who spent years working for General Motors has made me thing there are similarities in the two.

With the onset of the financial crisis, Detroit is having to face its problems in a big way. The Big Three had their heyday in the 50s and 60s, building large cars that Americans purchased like crazy. Gas was cheap and the foreign automakers were not as present on the road.

All that changed in the 70s. The gas crises of that era caught Detroit flatfooted. People started looking for more fuel efficient cars. Japan started showing its muscle as people looked to Toyota and Honda for cheap and efficient cars.

Detroit decided to make changes. But in some cases the changes were small and not major. People complained about the quality of the cars and started abandoning domestic automakers. Detroit kept making small changes, a badge engineering here, a plant closing there, but never made the big costly changes.

The late 90s brought the SUV craze and Detroit went big guns over it. The Big Three were now flushed with cash and the good times were rolling in. The Asian automakers, no joined by the Korean upstarts like Huyndai, also built SUVs, but they also kept selling small cars to people who wanted them.

The gas started getting more expensive. First $2, then $3, then $4 per gallon. It got too crazy to spend so much in gas for an SUV that got 12 miles to the gallon. People started to look to small cars. Again, Detroit came up short. It had spent years neglecting its cars, so when people came looking for more efficient cars, Detroit had few.

Finally, the credit crisis hit. Banks weren't lending which meant, people couldn't buy cars. Two of the Big Three stand on the edge of oblivion.

Like Detroit, the heyday for Mainline churches was in the 50s and 60s. Christianity had a big place in American culture. People went to church, and the sancutaries were full. But things changed in the 60s. Other religions came to the fore. Also, all those "blue laws" that closed stores on Sunday, vanished. Going to church was only one option of many.

Like Detroit, the mainline churches made some small changes, a renewal movement here, a new youth program there, but they weren't willing to see how the times had changed around them.

The mainline churches as a whole aren't at the point where Detroit is, yet. But I think the problems are similiar: we are trying to pretend it's still 1958. We think that if we make a few changes, then everything will be as it was. But the problem is that we can't go back to 1958- not for cars or for churches. America is not the place it was 50 years ago. We have changed as nation and both institutions have to learn to change.

But that change is hard. It means giving up things that have been tried and true. For a company like GM, it means letting go of some storied brands like Buick (where my Dad worked). For churches it means things like giving up the way we've done worship, or learning to welcome gays and lesbians when that was even on the radar years ago.

But the thing is, for both the auto companies and the churches, you either have to make meaningful change, or die. I think for both we are way past the point of small change.

Change requires a leap of faith, a belief that in the end, God there with open arms waiting to catch us. For the church, we have to be willing to trust, not in practices and memories of the past, but in God; knowing that God is always with us.

Who would ever have thought my love of cars and love of the church and God would ever combine. :)

Trees and Forests

One of the things that makes a bit different than most people is the fact that I see the trees instead of the forest. It's a common trait of those with autism: we tend to focus on parts of something rather than the whole.

In the day to day life that plays itself out in many ways. I and someone else might look at a certain situation and I will come away focused on one aspect of the encounter and think everything is okay, while someone else takes in everything and believes the situation is grave.

I sometimes wonder if this happens in my role as a minister. The church where I am the Associate is a church that I was a member of once, a decade ago. I had heard the stories of a church mired in its glorious past, but in the past six months, I've seen small signs of a church wanting to change. None of these are big moves, but baby steps that in some ways are farther than I expected this congregation to go.

But, then I wonder: Am I missing the big picture? Am I not seeing the whole story which might be worse than I can imagine?

I don't know. I think at times there are advantages to being able to only see parts instead of a whole, because some times we are so busy looking at the forest that we fail to see the small plant that is slowly but surely growing. And of course, there are advantages to seeing the whole picture and see that while I'm enjoying that new plant, there is a wolf nearby that sees me as lunch.

I think the congregation faces some challenges down the road, but I think there is some hope in there as well. I will use the odd gift that I have to see the hope springing forth, and I will be thankful for those who can also see the whole forest instead of just one tree. God knows we are both needed.

I Don't Like Change.

I got a call today that just bugged me. It was from the admin of a center that helps pastors deal with vocation issues. Part of the thing here is that you have to spend a day and a half away from work at this center taking different psychological tests.

That part alone bugs me, because it means that I have to be taken away from my routine, which is to go to work. In fact, it could be why I have delayed making an appointment.

Change has always been rough for me. Shortly after my diagnosis, my partner got a call from his brother indicating that his wife was in labor. Daniel was happy and ready to head back to Fargo. I was initially freightened. We had just come back from the North Dakota the night before and I had planned my day at work and now this was all being thrown out. After I calmed down, we were able to head out to Fargo.

So, back to this appointment. I also have to take some tests prior to going and I guess some of them have to be taken at the center before the other testing days. So, not only do I have to be away from my routine for two days, but I have to take another day away and most of all no one told me about this.

I know that I probably sounded pissed when I chatted over the phone and I was. For those who aren't autistic, this is probably a no-brainer, but for someone like me, it can send me through the roof. I have to learn to calm myself down and not get so upset.

Change of course is a part of life, but it isn't easy for me. Several years ago I my roomate and best friend started dating a guy that became his husband. It really bothered me, not out of jealousy, but because everything changed. We had bought a house together and I had that planned in my mind, and we had a history of hanging out together and then all that changed. He wasn't around to go places or to go grocery shopping or things like that and I was just bereft.

My partner sometimes says "I am getting ready to do something spontaneous." It's sounds silly, but at least then I can deal and prepare for change.

But that's not how life operates all the time.

When I Was a Child....

In my investigation of all things Aspergers, one of the things I've discovered is this sense among aspies of a child-like nature.

In six months, I hit the big 4-0. And yet, I don't feel like I'm an almost 40 year old. I mean, that I act like a big kid at times. This shouldn't be confused with acting childish, but more having some of the same qualities that make little children so adobrable.

It seems that I am not the only one who doesn't seem to act his age:

When I look at myself in the mirror, I find this much more difficult to gauge. I tend to see someone younger than me looking back at me.

I wonder if this is because I don’t feel thirty five years old?

I’ve never really felt like an adult. Adults act in a certain way - with a certain type of maturity. I suspect to a degree I judge the age of other people based on how they act as well as how they look. And as I don’t act the way a thirty five year old does, perhaps that’s why I don’t see a thirty five year old looking back at me from the mirror.

Do any of you also experience this strange sort of age dislocation?

(raises hand) I do, I do!

This makes me wonder: what is it that makes persons with Aspergers have a child-nature? What's going on in our noggins?

Well, I'm off to get on a seesaw. ;)

Sexuality and the Aspie

Gavin Bollard, an Austrailian aspie that I follow has a good post today on sexuality and the teenager with Aspergers. For me, it brought back a lot of memories that make sense in light of my diagnosis.

It took me a long time to want to bear any skin. I would button my shirt up all the way and had a hard time wearing shorts or tank tops. In some ways, I still do have issues. On a recent trip to Argentina, my partner thought nothing of wearing shorts everyday. Me? Not so much. When it's hot out, I will wear them, but it's more of a last resort than anything else.

In many ways, I was on the very uptight end of the spectrum when it came to sexuality. Slowly but surely, I have become a bit more relaxed, but that more restrictive nature still has its residues.

Sunday Sermon- March 22, 2009

“First Aid”

Numbers 21: 4-9, John 3:14-21, Ephesians 2:1-10

March 22, 2009 (Fourth Sunday in Lent)

First Christian Church

Minneapolis, MN

As some of you know, I just got back from a trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina. My partner Daniel, tends to get cabin fever around late February, early March and somehow, we end up going somewhere. This year, it was to the land of good steaks and the tango. It was an awesome trip and I got to use my Spanish a lot.

We spent a lot of time visiting the different barrios of this immense city. One day, we went to the Plaza de Mayo which is akin to our National Mall. It is a small plaza that is in front of the Casa Rosada, or Pink House, which is the Argentine version of the White House. In the Plaza were several graffiti renditions of a white scarf shaped as if it were worn by someone. This represented los Madres, the mothers and grandmothers of those who had been “dissapeared” by the military during la Guerra Sucia or “Dirty War.” Between 1976 and 1su983, Argentina was ruled by a military dictatorship. The military decided to get rid of anyone that was deemed a threat and this included intellectuals, artists and political activists. Thousands were dragged into Ford Falcons and never seen again.

The mothers and grandmothers of those who had been taken decided to stage a protest in the Plaza de Mayo to demand justice. Los Madres kept protesting long after the military went back to their barracks and democracy was restored, seeking answers and demanding that those responsible for human rights abuses be punished.

Los Madres stopped their protests in 2006 in response to the government’s willingness to overturn amnesty laws. But this painting was a reminder of their bravery and something else: here in this wonderful city, there was a reminder that all was not well, even in paradise.

The texts today all deal in some way with the cross. In some ways, that shouldn’t be surprising: I mean, we are in Lent and on a journey that will take Jesus to the cross. But today, it seems all out in the open. We can’t run from it. Here is the cross in all its ugliness.

It’s kind of odd that we Christians use the cross as our symbol. It’s a symbol of death and a rather grizzly death. Some Christians have wondered why we even use such a symbol.

The cross can also be a reminder to us that things are not well in world. Like the symbol of Los Madres, it reminds us that in this world there is injustice and sin. People use each other, hurt each other and the rest of God’s creation. It reminds us that we are not okay, that we hurt each other. All is not well.

But that isn’t the whole story. In the story in Numbers which Jesus tells again in John, we a reminded that the cross can also bring healing and salvation. The story in Numbers tells us that the Israelites were complaining to Moses about the lot in life. God heard their complaints and sends poisonious snakes to come and torment the Israelites. They come to Moses again, this time pleading to get rid of the snakes. God hears the cries of the Israelites and tells Moses to make a golden serpent and place it on a pole. If any Israelite who was bitten, looked up at the golden serpent, then they would be healed.

Jesus uses this old story to make a point in his conversation with Nicodemus, the religious leader who came late at night to chat with him over coffee. Just as God used the golden snake to heal the Israelites, then so to would the Son of God be lifted up to heal creation. Nicodemus didn’t understand that, and I think most of us would have scratched our heads as well. Jesus was referring to his death on the cross. Jesus would be the golden serpent, the antidote to the state of the world.

What does this mean for us as a community of faith? I think it reminds us that in our daily lives and in the lives of our friends, we deal with snakes and crosses, those things that cause hurt and pain. In this current environment, many of us know someone that is dealing with a job loss or a home being foreclosed- it might even be the case that we are the one dealing with such a crisis. We face these snakes and crosses that bring a death of some kind. We may even wonder where God is to prevent us from facing these snakes. We and our friends walk around with the hurts and wounds of life. Sin, the separation of humanity from God and each other, still seems to reign. Sometimes we hide our hurts and pains from each other and pretend that everything is okay. Even in church, we tend to hide our pains, not wanting to burden others.

But the good news is that God works through what seems to be an instrument of death to bring life and healing. Just as the Israelites were able to find healing by looking at the golden serpent, we find healing, salvation through Jesus on the cross.

John 3:16 is probably the most well known verse in the Bible. “For God so loved the world...” is how it begins. God loves all of creation. God loves us. All of us. And God shows God’s love by coming in the form of a human named Jesus, who lived among us and died for us. God brought healing to the world.

God has healed us, all of us. The cross remind us that not only that something is not right in the world, but that God is doing something about this. As a community of faith, we are called to go and tell people that they are loved by God. There is nothing that they have to do to earn God’s love, because it is by God’s grace that they are loved. We have a story to tell.

We also have a job to do. Just as God brought healing to the world, we are called to be a people that not only tells the story of God’s healing love, but also be a community of healers...wounded healers as the late Henri Nouwen used to say. This faith community, First Christian has lived a life in the shadow of a cross. The congregation was that was once large, is now not so large. We have wondered if the congregation could continue. But even in the midst of the crosses that have taken place in the life of this congregation, we have also seen acts of healing. We give space to two other congregations: Tiempo Nuevo and the Spirit of St. Stephens, showing hospitality to people who might be new to the area or who have been cast out of churches. We have opened up our space to the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus to give them space to practice. Churches have not always been friendly to gay and lesbian folk, but we have welcomed them in a sign of hospitality. We opened our doors to the world on election day, providing cookies and coffees to voters as they performed their democratic duties. In the midst of our own crosses, we have provided healing. We are called to follow God’s example and go and love the world, with all of its blemishes and join in God’s work of healing. We do that when we care for the poor, as we have on Food Pantry Sunday. We do that when we try to welcome those who enter our doors, be they black or white or Latino or of Arab descent; be they straight or gay, rich or poor.

Some of you might remember long ago when I first joined First Christian, I came down down with a severe infection that placed me in the hospital for two weeks. I had lost a lot of weight, couldn’t eat , I was in all around bad shape. Fluid had built up around my lungs making it hard to breathe. As a way to aid in my healing, the doctors decided to cut open a small slice in my stomach to get a catheter in that would drain the fluid in my lungs. It was not fun trying to get that thing in. Today on my right side is a scar from that incident. That procedure brought a lot of pain, but the scar reminds me that it also brought hope: it helped in making me better, taking away the fluids that were keep me from breathing.

We opened the service singing the hymn, “Lift High the Cross.” The chorus goes like this:

“Lift high the cross,

the love of Christ proclaim

till all the world adore

his sacred Name.”

A instrument of death brings life instead. Funny how God works. Let us life up the cross as a reminder of God’s love for the world and let us tell the story. Let us bring healing, First Aid to a world that needs healing. Amen.

Rev. Tinman

One of my favorite episodes of Star Trek is one that comes from the Next Generation series called "Tinman." The episode features a Betazoid named Tam Elbron. Tam a little odd in that unlike other Betazoids who are all telepathic, he is not only telepathic, but super-telepathic. He can't shut out the other voices he hears and it nearly drives him insane.

I've been thinking about that episode in the wake of my Aspergers diagnosis. Every Sunday, I go to church and assist in worship. When I come home, I'm exhausted. Mentally, it is quite hard being "on" all the time, having to process all these people. Other days, when I am in the office, or working at home or a coffeeshop, I don't feel as drained as I do on Sundays.

It's not that I hate being around people. But being an Aspie Pastor can mean having to be out there a lot and that can be incredibly draining.

I'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way. (You don't have to be a pastor to have felt this.)

One Track Mind

One of the things that I've noticed is how I can only handle about one thought at a time. Let me explain.

Recently I had a meeting with the Senior Pastor where he asked me to work with the office manager on getting a music license for the church. I had in my mind one company that handles this and immediately told the office manager to look into this. Later that evening, I reported to the worship committee that I had signed up with the one company.

"Did you sign up with Company B?" the Senior Pastor asked.

For a split second, I thought that nothing was said about looking into the other company. He never talked about it, and anyway I had in my mind Company A. So, I called the office manager to work on getting us hooked up to Company B.

I am wondering if this is an Aspie trait: being single minded and not being able to handle more than one thought at a time. There have been many occasions where I hear something and focus on one part of it instead of the whole thing.

I know that people with Autism tend to focus on parts rather than the whole and that might be what's going on here. I had in my mind one company, not two.

I need to do more research, but this reminds me of the need to WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN.

Blogs, Pastors and Aspergers

For a while, I've been struggling with the idea of talking about Aspergers on this blog since it's supposed to be the blog where I talk about faith and being a pastor and all that. Maybe it's seeing all the other pastor types who have blogs that are talking about all these weighty theological things, and here I am talking about how I hate to use the phone or why I have to use lists to remember to call my parents or get a card for Daniel.

But the thing is, my journey with Aspergers IS tied up with my vocation. Some of the slip-ups that happened early on in my call were the result of missing social cues from others- well, that and basically dealing with some people who were complete a-holes.

And frankly, one of the things that I've noticed from pastors is that we rarely share what is going on with us. I have seen pastors who were dealing with depression and they never were willing to admit it to themselves, let alone the congregation. For some reason, pastors seem to think that they have to be perfect and never share their own hurts and weaknesses.

On a few occasions, I've shared with people in the congregation that I have Aspergers. It's not that I want to get sympathy. But part of me wants to share that this is who I am: an openly gay pastor who also has an autistic disorder. No hiding, no pretending that somehow I am some religious superhero.

I'm not defective, I just operate on a different frequency than others.

So, I guess I will keep talking about Aspergers and being a pastor. It's who I am.

Blogging Thoughts

I've been thinking lately about setting up another blog that deals with aspergers and get this one back on track to being soley on faith stuff (though I might talk about where faith and autism intersect).

What do others think?

Sunday Sermon- February 1, 2008

“The Devil and Rev. Sanders”
Mark 1:21-28, Dueteronomy 18:15-20
February 1, 2009
First Christian Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota


About a year ago, an interesting indie movie came out called “Lars and the Real Girl.” The story was about a young man named Lars who was a bit of an odd duck. He was incredibly shy, never really connecting with people, especially his brother and sister-in-law. His sister in law tried as hard as she could to bring him out of his shell, but he remained in his little house just off of the larger house where his brother lived.


One day, a UPS truck arrives at Lars’ small house. Shortly thereafter, he goes to his brother’s house to exclaim that he had found a wonderful girl and wanted to introduce her to them. The couple are excited at the news and get to creating a good meal.


The next thing we see if Lars’ girlfriend, Bianca. The thing is Bianca isn’t that animated. She’s kinda plastic. Remember that package that arrived at Lars’ house? Well, the package contained Bianca, a life-sized doll. So, Lars had brought a doll to have dinner with his family. Lars described her as a missionary from Brazil. Of course, his sibiling and his wife were astounded and thought that Lars had gone off the deep end. The brother runs to the town psychologist seeking help. Dr. Dagmar decided that what was best was to play into Lars’ fantasies and treat Bianca as if she was real person.


As what happens in a small town, word got around and the church council got together to decide what to do. After all, what was going to happen with Lars tooling around town with a giant doll? After much debate, the pastor finally asked the question, what would Jesus do?


The response of the town was to treat Bianca just like Lars did- as a real person. So, we have images of Bianca going shopping with the girls and getting her hair done and all the rest. The town learned to accept Bianca as one their own and in the end, they accepted Lars who was coming out of his self-imposed isolation.


As I was preparing for this sermon, a theme that seemed to come out from my studies were the concepts of exclusion and inclusion. I can’t speak for others, but those two topics have always been important to me for several reasons. First of course, is as an African American. It wasn’t that long ago that people who looked like me were excluded from parts of American society including the church. We are progressing as Americans, as African Americans are more and more being included in society, yes even in the White House. But of course the sin of racism is still around and there is still some work to do. The second reason this is important for me is as a gay man. Life can be challenging for gays and lesbians, and sadly, the church has not always done a good job of welcoming us. I am thankful that I have found communities where I am accepted for who I am as a child of God, but there are many who still stay away from churches bearing scars of the past pains of exclusion. The there is the fact that I also have what might be considered a disability. Last year, I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome which is a form of autism. The diagnosis was an answer to years of misunderstanding that affected my calling as a pastor. But it also present me with questions to how I would be accepted in church and made me aware of how those with differing forms of autism are treated in faith communities.


The gospel story today has much to do with how we exclude and welcome those who are different. Jesus is in the synogogue teaching and the faith community is amazed. He isn’t teaching like all the other scribes, who taught based on precedent and tradition, he teaches with an authority that comes from himself. In the midst of this teaching, a man with what the text says is an “unclean spirit” starts to make a commotion. We don’t know what this man had, but we do know that he is ill. But notice they didn’t say that. The writer said he has an unclean spirit. Because of the ritual laws concerning cleanliness, this means this man was separated from the larger faith community. He was not clean, so he was not part of the larger body. In some sense, he wasn’t supposed to be at the synogogue. For whatever reason, he was there and the spirits inside of him could see Jesus and decided to taunt him.


Jesus would have none of this. He orders the spirit to come out of the man and the unclean spirit did. The people were astounded. If someone was unclean, it meant having to do something to make oneself clean. But if you had an illness, like an unclean spirit or leprosy, you were pretty much out of luck. But Jesus took the impossible and made it possible. Jesus was able to make the impossible, possible.


Is this story about demons and evil spirits? In a way, yes. There are spirits out there that feast on fear, making us scared of each other and putting up walls to “protect” us. It happens in the wider society, of course, but it also happens in the church. The church in the United States has a sad history of excluding African Americans from worshipping in the same space with whites. The church has also sadly excluded people who were gay from being in churches. But the fact is, it doesn’t stop there. We are all at times fearful of dealing with someone who different from us. Maybe it is someone who has a mental illness, or a homeless person. Sometimes we just want to ignore these people and hope they go away. I will admit, I’ve felt that way and you probably have too at times as well. The spirits that kept this man from being part of the synogogue still is up to its old tricks, trying to make sure that people are kept out, excluded.


But the good news is that we have a friend in Jesus. It is in Jesus name that the spirits who work on exclusion have already lost. It is by Christ’s death on the cross, that the power of sin has been broken, it just doesn’t know that yet.


This means that in faith we can work toward learning to include everyone- finding ways to let people know that they are loved by the God of all Creation, and by us as well.


My Lutheran friends sometimes comment on having a “Theology of the Cross.” It basically means seeing the life of a Christian though Christ’s death on the cross. There much here that is good, but I think that we Disciples have our own theology. I like to call it the Theology of the Table. One of the founders from our Restoration heritage had this to say about the act of communion:


The Theology of the Table means having a theology that is centered at the communion table where we are all equal. It is the place where we share each others burdens and as Campbell says we are “mutually embraced.”


Trying to be inclusive of others is not easy and I don’t think it is something where we “arrive.” We are constantly working at it and falling back, but knowing that we are forgiven, we strive onward, to day by day become God’s people.


There is a tale told about former Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I have no idea if it is true, but I like it. It took place during the struggle against aparthied in South Africa. He and others were protesting and he sees a group of white South African policemen. He shouts to them that they have already lost, so they should come over to their side and join them.


At the time, Nelson Mandela was still in jail. The aparthied government maintained an iron grip on black South Africans. And yet, Tutu believed that the battle had been won. The spirits of division were in retreat; they just didn’t know it yet.


May we be a community that learns to be hospitable to those of might seem different. May God forgive us when we fall short and give the stregth to carry on. Thanks be to God, Amen.

Waiting for the Ax to Fall

It's been nearly three months on the job as the Associate and so far, so good. It has been a pleasant experience.

At least it should be.

You see, at times old tapes play in my mind. If I make a mistake, I keep waiting for someone to chew me out, to yell at me for crossing some line or stepping on someone's toes.

I think this because it has happened before and the repeated experiences left me feeling at times like a scared puppy.

But nothing like this has happened at the church so far. Part of that comes from knowing more about myself. In the past, I would charge in and do something, which would then end up pissing people off because I had crossed some invisible boundary that I didn't know existed. I think it was that Aspie trait of lack of common sense that would get me in trouble. But lately, I've been more willing to take my time and ask people questions before just doing something.

But the other half might just be finding grace in church. The other day I grumbled about forgetting something, beating myself up for being so stupid. "That's okay," the Senior Pastor said. "We're all human."

It's funny that sometimes the place where we find the least grace is in church. But in many of my experiences over the years, church is the last place where one can be human and live under grace. So, it was shocking to hear grace being bestowed on me...in a church.

That doesn't mean that I don't deal with fear. But maybe over time, I can trust that there is grace, both here and in heaven.

Maintenance V. Mission (the Rerun)

Someone at church was interested in the following blog post from late July of 2008, so I decided to post it again.

I stumbled upon this blog post and thought to share it. I see a lot of this happening in some churches I know. I will blog more about this later.

1. In measuring its effectiveness, the maintenance congregation asks, “How many visitors have we attracted?” The missional congregation asks, “How many members have we sent?”

2. When contemplating some form of change, the maintenance congregation says, “If this proves upsetting to any of our members, we won’t do it.” The missional congregation says, “If this will help us bless and touch someone outside of our faith community, we will take the risk and do it.”

3. When thinking about change, the majority of members in a maintenance congregation ask, “How will this affect me?” The majority of members in the missional congregation ask, “Will this help align our activities around the missio dei — the mission of God?”

4. When thinking of its vision for ministry, the maintenance congregation says, “We have to be faithful to our past.” The missional congregation says, “We have to be faithful to our future.”

5. The pastor in the maintenance congregation says to the newcomer, “I’d like to introduce you to some of our members.” In the missional congregation the members say, “We’d like to introduce you to our pastor.”

6. When confronted with a legitimate pastoral concern, the pastor in the maintenance congregation asks, “How can I meet this need?” The pastor in the missional congregation asks, “How can we meet this need?”

7. The maintenance congregation seeks to avoid conflict at any cost (but rarely succeeds). The missional congregation understands that conflict is the price of progress, and is willing to pay the price. It understands that it cannot take everyone with it. This causes some grief, but it does not keep it from doing what needs to be done.

8. The leadership style in the maintenance congregation is primarily managerial, where leaders try to keep everything in order and running smoothly. The leadership style in a missional congregation is primarily transformational, casting a vision of what can be, and marching off the map in order to bring the vision into reality.

9. The maintenance congregation is concerned with their congregation, its organizations and structure, its constitutions and committees. The missional congregation is concerned with the culture, with understanding how secular people think and what makes them tick. It tries to determine their needs and their points of accessibility to the Gospel.

10. When thinking about growth, the maintenance congregations asks, “How many Christians, who aren’t currently members, live within a twenty-minute drive of this church?” The missional congregation asks, “How many unreached people groups live within a twenty-minute drive of this church?”

11. The maintenance congregation looks at the community and asks, “How can we get these people to come to our church?” The missional congregation asks, “How can we go and be engaged with these people?”

12. The maintenance congregation thinks about how to save their congregation. The missional congregation thinks about how to plant new missional communities to extend the Kingdom of God.

Life As A Puzzle

Last night, as I was sitting in a church board meeting, the senior pastor noted that most of us tend to think that life is linear- we make progress as we go along. But he thinks that in the church, life is more like a mosaic, like pieces coming together to form something.

As I thought about that, I started to think about my own life and my having Aspergers. Immediately what came to mind was a puzzle, or more exactly, the symbol used for Autism Awareness: ribbon that is also a puzzle of differing colors.

In some ways, such a symbol makes sense. For those who care for someone with an autistic-related disorder and even for the person themselves, life can be a puzzle. Things don't make sense. What we expect is not what happens.

For me, life has been a puzzle, especially before my diagnosis. I couldn't understand why life didn't work the way it was "supposed" to. I didn't understand why it was so hard to make friends or date or keep a job. Even after being diagnosed, there are still questions- more puzzles.

But I wonder if that's the way life is. Going back to the church, it can be so easy to expect that a church must progress along a line: do this and this will happen. Don't do this, this will happen and so on. But what if church life is actually a puzzle where we place on piece at a time and see if it fits. And then we try another piece. And another. And so on. Step by step, faith by faith.

And maybe that's it. Life as a mosaic or puzzle means that we have to have faith that it will work out. It means that in time the picture will become clear. It means we can step back and see the whole journey, all the missteps and successes and see it all.

Maybe what having Aspergers has taught me so far is that life is a puzzle. There will be things that don't make sense now, but maybe in time.

Autism Sunday

I happen to stumble accross this, but I guess there is a Sunday where churches can lift up those who have an Autism-related disorder. I am curious if there any churches or communities that have done something to help faith communities be mindful of those of us who have an autism spectrum disorder.

Aspergers in the Work-a-day World

Now that I know that I have Aspergers, a lot of questions have some answers.

My work history has been...well, interesting. It's not that I've been terrible, but it took until I was almost 40 to have a stable worklife. A lot that I can attribute to having Aspergers.

It manifested itself in my roles in the church, and in secular jobs. I floundered in jobs where there wasn't clear objectives or where the answer to a question had to be "how high?" instead of acutally answering the question.

I am reminded of this in reading the blog of a fellow aspie who as told that their job prospects aren't good.

In some cases there are limitations. I don't think I could ever be a Senior Pastor because it is too people intensive and way too political, something we Aspies aren't good at. But just because I'm limited doesn't mean that it's impossible. I think knowing is half the battle. Knowing that you have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder means that you have the power of knowledge instead of simply stumbling around in the dark trying to figure out what is wrong with you.

The thing is, there are employers that are willing to make accomdations for people with Autism. We aren't doomed. It's not easy, but we are not doomed.

At least that is what I keep telling myself.

New Look

So, you've noticed I've changed the look of the blog. It was time. The tagline has changed as well: "Not like the other pastors..."

What does that mean? Well, primarily it means that I am probably one of the few pastors that is on the autistic spectrum for one. And that I'm a slightly conservative (but definitely not fundamentalist) pastor in a politically liberal denomination. So, I am one odd duck.

And I happen to like that.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the digs.

When No Means Yes

A few years ago, I lived accross the alley from a lesbian couple. I had been fired from a job (another story) and my roomate thought one way I could raise a bit of money during my unemployment was to shovel their house. Well, it snowed one time and I was out shoveling their sidwalks and driveways. It did snow a bit more, but I thought I had done what they wanted.

I should add, during this time, the mother of one of the lesbians died, so they were in a rough spot.

A few days later, I get a call express dissapointment at my performance. Since it had snowed a little bit more, it made it look like I never did much. I said I could go out and shovel, but they kept saying don't bother. The next day, I saw one of them out shoveling and the day after recieved an email telling me that my services were no longer required. I responded in what I thought was a civil tone, but I guess was somewhat snarky.

The next thing I know I got a terse email from one them that was flaming; telling me how the other person went out to shovel and could have had a heart attack and the like. That bit of frustration caused me to go into a meltdown situation, which is a story for another time. Long story short, because of that, our relationship which was once friendly, became strained.

What was interesting in all of this, was how I was told over and over to not bother going out and shovel. So, after a while I took them at their word. But in reality, their "no" was really "you better get out there and clean things up." But being an aspie, I saw "no" as "no."

For someone that is not on the spectrum, there would be no question: the word "no" was a way of nicely saying that something needed to be done. Neurotypicals know this. But someone who has Aspergers doesn't see things that way.

In some way, being an aspie in an NT world is like a French-speaking person living in an English speaking culture. Just as language comes with a certain world view, so does having Apsergers. We see and percieve the world rather differently and having to live in a world where everyone else speaks a different "language" can be quite confusing.

Sunday Sermon- December 7, 2008

“A New Hope”
Mark 1:1-8, Isaiah 40:1-11
December 7, 2008 (Second Sunday in Advent)
First Christian Church
Minneapolis, MN

As I am heading down the road towards 40, I’ve discovered something that many of you who are farther down the road have already figured out: you start to get nostalgic for things past, and maybe a bit more hesitant about the future. I can tell that I am looking back a lot when a growing number of songs I’ve downloaded from iTunes are songs from the late 80s and early 90s, when I was in high school, college and just starting out on my own.

Then I start to think about the future. I’m becoming a middle-aged man,and my body is reminding me of that everyday. I’m dealing with aging parents and getting ready for the day when, sadly, they will be in my past. I then start to think about retirement, even though that’s about 30 years away.

I wonder at times why I have become so nostaglic for the past. Part of it could be that I’ve lived long enough to have memories of what things were like decades ago. But I also think I’m doing this because, the past is something that is known, it’s safe. Nevermind that the past wasn’t always that great and in fact was downright bad at times, it gives me comfort. The future? Well, that’s unknown and that is just scary to me.

As we start this new church year, we will focus on the book of Mark. Mark’s gospel is an odd book, when you compare it to Matthew and Luke. For one thing, Matthew and Luke try to set up the story of Christ’s birth and tell about the actual birth itself. Mark doesn’t do that. For me, it’s like seeing the first Star Wars, which is actually the middle chapter of the science fiction saga. You are just plopped in the middle of this story without much preparation. We are simply told this is the beginning of the good news of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And then, we are told of this guy, John the Baptist who needs a good talking to about his eating habits and his fashion sense. Somehow, he is the forerunner to Jesus, someone that John says he is not worthy to tie his shoes. There are no angels greeting Mary, the mother of Jesus, no talk of John as Jesus’ cousin, just this odd beginning, introducing Jesus and John.

While this passage doesn’t seem to make sense, at least to me, there is something going on here. This passage is about hope, it is about moving forward with faith in the future.

Mark’s decides to open his story by going back to Isaiah. Mark believes that prophet Isaiah foretold that a messenger would come and prepare the way of the Lord, calling people to get right with God. Mark believed that this person was John the Baptist. He came preaching a message of repentance. At first glance, that doesn’t seem like a hopeful message. John is asking, no, demanding that people turn away from (which is what repentance means) from their evil ways. That doesn’t seem like a message that would make one all warm and fuzzy is it? But John is also preaching a message of forgivness of sins, harkening back to Isaiah, which pictures a God that is willing to forgive those who had wronged God.

One would think that such a harsh message would not be popular. But the passage says that crowds came out from Jerusalem and into the desert to hear this message of repentance and forgiveness.

Now that in itself is interesting. Jerusalem is the place of the Temple, the holiest place for Jews. It was supposed to the place people would flock to, and yet, they are not. The crowds were ignoring the learned religious folk and instead listening to some odd duck out in the desert. John tells the people that One is coming that is even bigger than he. “Hope is on the way, “ he says.

So, what can we learn from this text? A few things. Advent is a reminder that Jesus is coming. Hope is on the way. We will be free from our bonds. As Isaiah said, mountains would be brought low, valleys would be raised. Everything changes when Jesus appears. In our busyness during this time of the year, we are reminded that we are loved by God and God will find a way to heal and restore us. Hope is on the way.

But Advent is not only a time of hopeful expectation. It is also a time when God is calling for us to repent, to examine our lives and heal our relationship with God and each other. We like to think that Advent and Christmas are simply happy times, not wanting to face the fact that we need to prepare ourselves for God’s coming. How have we hurt our sister or brother? How have we treated God’s creation? While it might be “the most wonderful time of the year” we also need to be willing to work towards healing and repenting from ways that are damaging our human and spiritual relationships.

But there is still one other thing to take note here. The people left Jerusalem because they were not finding God there. There is a question here for faith communities like First Christian. Churches can be good places to talk about getting right with God, but we sometimes fail on that forgiveness of sins part. Are we as individuals and as a congregation a place where people can receive grace? There are people who for various reasons have not felt grace in their lives. People without work, or dealing various addictions or mental illness, people of different ethnic groups, economic classes and sexual orientation have not always felt welcomed in God’s house. Are we going to that place where they can find relief and hope, or will they leave us to see where God is going?

I can’t answer that question for you. But it is something that we as a church must constantly ask ourselves.

But I also think that we are called to bring that hope to the world. This isn’t about us recieving this message for me, myself and I. It’s about sharing this hope with all of creation. As the hymn which is based on Isaiah 40 says:

Comfort, comfort ye my people,

Speak ye peace, thus saith our God;

Comfort those who sit in darkness,

Mourning 'neath their sorrows' load;

Speak ye to Jerusalem

Of the peace that waits for them,

Tell her that her sins I cover,

And her warfare now is over.

So, this is not only a message of hope for us, but a charge to go out into the world and preach the good news in word and deed. When we feed the hungry, clothe the naked, bring good news to the captives, we are comforting God’s people.

Advent is a time of expectation, but it also a time of hope, a time when we move forward. The past is in the past, but we move forward knowing that we are forgiven by God.

About a year ago, I met the grandmother of one of my friends during his committment ceremony. This woman was in her 90s, but full of spirit and hope. This spunky woman died a few weeks ago at the age of 92. She continued forward into the future, facing her eventual mortality with hope.

I have no idea what the future will bring for me as I hit 40. I have no idea what the future brings for First Christian as it discerns its future. John’s preaching got him in trouble with the authorities and he ended up being executed. The One whom John was preaching about died on a cross. Hope doesn’t mean a happy ending, but it does mean that God is with us, all the time. We are not alone.

Remember that Star Wars reference? I should point out that the first movie had a subtitle. Does anyone know what it is? It’s A New Hope. The saga was saying that after years of oppression, hope was on the way. Maybe it be so with us. Hope is on the way. Thanks be to God. Amen.

Email or Phone?

When I started dating Daniel, one of the things he noticed was that I didn't like talking on the phone much. Which for him meant getting out of his warm apartment in Grand Forks and going to church late at night to Instant Message which I loved.

Ever since email came around, I've seen it as a godsend. I can communicate much better via computer than on the phone or in person. At work, it makes more sense to email me than to leave a message on my phone, which I fail to get around to answering. For some reason, I don't like the phone.

I wonder if this is something other Aspies face. I do know that for people with Aspergers the web was a miracle and it definitely is for me. What about all of you?