As I was talking with a fellow pastor this afternoon, I realized something:
We started sharing our experiences with Clinical Pastoral Education. CPE is "on the job" training for a pastors to be, to learn about themselves in difficult situations. I've heard others take it and say it was the hardest time for them emotionally. My first boyfriend did it and would cry like a baby about how hard it was.
For me, it didn't seem so emotional.
That's not to say it wasn't difficult. I worked in a nursing home during my stint in 2001-02. One of my first visits was with a family where the father had brain cancer and was in bad shape. The family thought that the would get better and asked me to pray for them. There was NO chance this guy was going to get better. So, I prayed the best I could, trying not to say he was going to get all better. It was hard; I had to give these people hope, but not false hope.
The fact is, my experience was more "Vulcan" if I can say. One of my classmates berated me at the final meeting saying that I was to aloof. (I never really like this woman, I thought she was too needy, wanting people's sympathy.) But the fact was, it was my aspieness showing.
Looking back, I can see that the reason I was somewhat more distant than others was because of my Aspergers.
There's not much reason for this post, except an understanding as to why I acted the way I did back then. I was afraid that I was some unfeeling monster. Nope, just an aspie chaplain.