Only Left Turns?

I didn't want to admit this for a long time, but I have finally come to grips with something:

I am a Liberal Protestant.

I grew up as an Evangelical and still respect that part of Christianity, but as I was sitting in a group recently that was predominantly Evangelical, I realized that the terminology that I heard is no longer in tune with my way of thinking. After 15 years in Mainline Churches, I've become a Liberal Protestant.

That said, I am probably on the conservative end of Liberal Protestantism. While I am comfortable in mainline churches, politically I lean Republican. I've been involved with Republican groups like Log Cabin Republicans and Republicans for Environmental Protection for years. I've supported and volunteered on GOP camapigns. I'm supporting John McCain for President.

I'm a Liberal Protestant that is also a Moderate Republican. I believe in justice for the poor and care for the earth, but I also believe in low taxes and do not think government is always the solution to every problem. The long march of the GOP to the far right, has made me somewhat a liberal in a conservative party, and the leftward lean to the Mainline has made me a conservative in a liberal denomination. It makes for being one odd duck.

I am the one in church that tends to want the budget have mission giving built into the budget, rather than passthrough. Why? Because if we are serious about justice, then the church has to be living it.

So, I look at the Emergent movement and see people who are concerned about mission and wanting to share God's love in word and deed. All good. I want to sign up. But then I start seeing this joining between progressive politics and Emergent that makes me wonder if there is room for someone like me.

I've been reading "An Emergent Manifesto of Hope." It has it's good points, but for the most part, I've been a tad dissappointed. As I read the book, I kept wondering what in the world is the difference between some of the left theologians I am aware of and the Emergents. There is a lot of talk of the US as "empire" or how we should eat local, or how we are to be nonviolent and so on. I'm not saying any of this is bad, but the thing is, I have heard this in my own denomination from people who have no idea what Emergent is. The missional focus and the desire to do justice is great; but I keep feeling that I have to start voting Democratic and adopting the prevailing views of the Left to be a good Christian. Having been in Evangelical circles where one is a good Christian by voting GOP, it sounds like the same song, only a different tune.

If being Emergent means adopting progressive politics, then this movement is too damn small. God calls for justice, but doesn't tell us how to get there. There are some of us who think it comes not soley from large government programs, but through many sources, such as charities, churches, individuals and the government.

Maybe it's me, but I think there is too little diversity within the Emergent scene. It is too white, too straight, and too left. That leaves a lot of people out of the conversation, that might want to be a part of it. I wish "Manifesto" had more voices than those of a narrow focus.

Please understand: I am not saying we need to adhere to what is the prevailing mood in the GOP, which is grossly anti-gay and now anti-immigrant. I listen to my liberal friends because there is truth in their words. I may not always agree, but they do make some good points.

But as much as I detest how faith has become hostage to conservative politics, I am also wary of how faith is also hostage to liberal politics. Instead of critiquing both movements, we end up getting compromised by both.

It's good to know that I am not the only one concerned about this. But I do wonder if there is room for this odd Liberal Protestant/Moderate Republican duck in Emergent. I've having my doubts.

I Want Your Blood

I just finished putting together a proposal for a planned new church. I've sent it out to a few people for their opinions. So far I haven't heard anything. I assume people are busy, so I will give people time.

In talking with a few people, I've noticed that some are interested and some are upset that more isn't being done. One person that I don't know that well ranted and raved about how Disciple churches weren't doing anything mission wise, but when I asked him if he could help out, he just went back to ranting and raving.

I don't know if this is exclusive to Disciples, but we are damn good a bitching about things. We whine about everything that is wrong with the church, but most don't do a damn thing to change things.

That's what scares me with this new church thing. Yeah, there are a lot of people that say they think new churches are a good idea, but when it comes to putting some skin in the game, they hem and haw or just don't say anything. That was what I faced last time.

That fear is enough for me not to want to jump into this again-I just don't want to get hurt like I did last time.

Sometimes what I want to say to these people is that I don't want their money or rants, I want their blood.

Before people start thinking that I am a vampire, let me explain.

Remember that story where there are several people saying they want to follow Jesus, but they have to do something before they can follow? Remember how Jesus gives them the brush off? I think that story is saying that to follow Christ is costly; it is as Dietrich Bonehoeffer said: Christ bids us to come and die. I've met people that are like those people who had other things to before following Jesus. What I would like are people that are willing to give of themselves and work for the kingdom.

I guess, I would love to find people who feel led by God to support this crazy idea. Not simply say it's a good idea, but do something to help further God's kingdom. Having been burned once, I am skeptical that I will find that one person who is willing to give of themselves. But I guess I have to have some faith about that, huh?

What am I Bringing to the Table?

A few years ago, I caught the video for "World on Fire" by Sarah McLachlan. It's a pretty unique video and teaches you something along the way. I decided tonight to actually read the lyrics and saw that what was going on in the video and the song had the same message: to live a life for others.

There is a part of the chorus that has captivated me. She talk about bringing it to the table. Now, as a Disciple, when I hear the word "table" I of course think of communion. Now, we don't have to do anything to recieve communion, in fact this meal is all about sinners. But communion reminds us of God's sacrificial love for all of creation. So, when we come to the Table every Sunday, as Christ followers, what are we bringing to the Table? Are we trying to live like Christ and live for others?

It's something to think about this season, when we are so busy thinking about ourselves.



World On Fire

The worlds on fire its more then I can handle
Ill tap into the water try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
Youre not alone in these stories pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And Ill try to hold it in
Yeah Ill try to hold it in

Chorus

I watch the heavens but I find no calling
Something I can do to change whats coming
Stay close to me while the skys falling
I dont wanna be left alone dont wanna be alone

Chorus

Hearts break hearts mend love still hurts
Visions clash planes crash still theres talk of
saving souls still colds closing in on us

We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take the less we become
The fortune of one man means less for some

Chorus

Now It Is Evening

From 2007-12-11

Last night, Daniel started tickling his new set of ivories (he bought a new piano last weekend). He was playing several hymns and started to play one of my favorite: Now It Is Evening. There are a few versions of the hymn. The Chalice Hymnal has one by David Haas that is so-so. Don't get me wrong, I love much the music of David Haas, but the version I heard on iTunes come accross as saccharine (It's Called At Evening in iTunes).

However the new Lutheran hymnal has a different tune that is more jazzy and somewhat sad, which goes with the lyrics. The lyrics talk about those who are lonely and hungry and how we can be Christ to them.

Anyway, enough gabbing. Here's the lyrics.

1. Now it is evening: Lights of the city
Bid us remember Christ is our Light.
Many are lonely, Who will be neighbor?
Where there is caring Christ is our Light.

2. Now it is evening: Little ones sleeping
Bid us remember Christ is our Peace.
Some are neglected, Who will be neighbor?
Where there is caring Christ is our Peace.

3. Now it is evening: Food on the table
Bid us remember Christ is our Life.
Many are hungry, Who will be neighbor?
Where there is sharing Christ is our Life.

4. Now it is evening: Here in our meeting
May us remember Christ is our Friend.
Some may be strangers, Who will be neighbor?
Where there's a welcome Christ is our Friend.

Tuesday Prayer

Another Tuesday prayer from Erik. Again, if you are interested in using these prayers, please email him.

Tuesday prayer based on texts for the third Sunday in Advent:

Isaiah 35:1-10
Psalm 146:5-10 (8) or Luke 1:46b-55 (47)
James 5:7-10
Matthew 11:2-11

We are a people of faint hearts and feeble knees, Lord--
discouraged and saddened by reminders of mortality.
But you are near,
maker of heaven and earth,
watching over all those hungry or oppressed, sick or in need.
Your coming is our hope-- streams of new life in the desert of our dry hearts,
peace to calm our warring desires and fears,
new life out of a tortured death --
all of this begins in Bethlehem's smelly stable
when you, too, become weak, poor, hungry, fearful.
You know we need you, Lord. Come soon, and stay.
Amen.



© 2007 Erik Doughty. Permission to reproduce this work is granted only when the author is credited.

More on Gays and the Emergent Church, or Where the Boys Are

My friend Tim (aka: Feral Pastor) responded to my post about welcoming gays into the church:

I think you're right on. My sense is that the church has an enormous amount of work to do to etsablish trust and credibility (which I doubt it ever had) with the gay community, and no amount of "you'll be welcome... if you happen to come to our place where we are" sentiment is going to accomplish that. The church has to go to where the gay folks are and demonstrate acceptance - not to mention love - before it will have earned a hearing for the gospel. The people I read/listen to refer to that as the difference between attractional and incarnational ministry.

I think he is correct. Now, I happen to know a lot of Lutherans and of course, a lot of gay Lutherans. I know many who are fighting for inclusion of gays and lesbians, especially those who feel called to preach, or who are already ordained and fear falling off the roster. When the ELCA has fallen short of allowing gays in relationships to freely serve as pastors, I have heard the call that this will keep people away from the church. I think this line is partly true: if a church shows it isn't welcoming to all, then you can't expect that many are going to stay or come to a church. But the corralary is not necessarily true; if we become more gay friendly; then gay people will start showing up at our doors. This isn't going to happen for a two main reasons: one, the church has done such a craptasitic job in welcoming people like me that many gays don't want to come near a church, even if the church would offer a drag show before the Sunday service. The second reason, is that the church doesn't have the same power in American society that it once did. America is a religious society, but the role of religion is not the same as it once was. Once, America had a civic religion that was basically bland Protestantism. Today, we are a multi-religious society where there is no civic religion at all. People can and do share their faith, but the Christian faith is not as prevelent in the major media as it once was. Years ago, people could sing religious songs in public schools. You can't do that now.

I have many gay friends for whom Sunday is just a day to sleep in. They may have been religious at one time, but now, they tend to be non religious. Jesus, God and the church don't mean a lot to them. For them, it might not matter that a church welcomes gays.

Unless...the church goes into the world.

Tim is correct: The church has to earn the respect of the gay community before it will consider Christ. That's why we need to be more incarnational than attractional, more willing to go into the places where gays and lesbians live: sometimes that means the gay bars, and other social groups, but it could also be the coffeeshop down the street or some other place. The short of it is, we need to go "where the Boys are." The church can't expect people to just walk up to its doors anymore, no matter how "progressive" one might appear. It's time to put up, or shut up.

Gay, Emergent and Missional?

In starting to make my way around the Emergent and Missional circles, I've started to notice two things especially about the Emergent movement:

1. It tends to be really, really white.
2. There is not a lot of talk on being gay.

I will get back to topic number one another time, but I wanted to focus on topic number two. In doing some reading of books and blogs the whole topic of homosexuality seems marginal at best. I wonder why that is. Maybe I'm wrong on this. Any response from the peanut gallery?

Of course I have a reason to think about this since I happen to be gay in a relationship and I'm a pastor to boot. But as much as I am thinking about that, I am also thinking about how many religious gays tend not be so interested in being church to others.

Let me explain. One of the driving forces behind creating Community of Grace was to become an Open and Affirming congregation. We thought then (as I do now)that this was important in our Christian witness. I still think it is good for churches to publicly declare they are welcoming of all who pass through their doors. What we did wrong was to leave it at that. We thought if we hung a sign that basically in effect said, "Queers are welcome" that folks would be chomping at the bit to come. That didn't happen. We placed ads in the local gay weekly and in the resource section of the state gay rights group and again, nothing happened. Very few of my fellow gay friends came to our services. Many had bad experiences with church for obvious reasons and nothing was getting them back to a church.

What I did notice is that at the same time we were having worship services on Sunday evenings, one of the local gay bars was hosting Showtunes. (I know, how sterotypical.) The thing was, people came there and had a beer and chummed around with friends. I had been to a few of these events and could see that people were having a good time.

Something interesting was happening here. Community was taking place. People would meet new friends, people would reconnect with old friends and so on.

I sometime think that gay Christians who are involved in advocacy groups within various denominations are doing a good job working for justice for gays. But while they are doing a good work, I worry that they miss something. Time and time again, I have heard some activists say that this decision will in effect, bring gays back into the church. But the fact is, even if there are gay clergy who can freely serve God, or a place where gay members are accepted, many mainline churches still lose members. I tend to think that part of the reason is that many of us are still stuck in the old view of church as some kind of holy Lion's club. But the fact is, many gay men and lesbians are still passing us by.

I think those of us who work for inclusion in the church only have it half right. Yes, we have to work for justice, but the God we serve also wants to share the Gospel with others in the local setting. I think we need to do more to go into the places where our gay brothers and sisters live and be church to them. It means sharing the Good News in word as well as in deed.

Community of Grace was right in trying to be Open and Affirming. But that alone is nothing more than getting Mohammed to the mountain. The thing is, a culture where the church doesn't have the same cultural pull it once did, you need to bring the mountain to Mohammed.

I wonder what would have happened if we had Bible Studies at some of the local bars. I don't know if we will ever know, but I do think that any new church has to be different. We have to be in mission to and with the local community and not simply think that we can attract gays by saying we like them.

Just some thoughts before bed...

Tuesday Prayer

Another Tuesday prayer from Erik. Again, if you are interested in using these prayers, please email him.


Tuesday prayer based on texts for the Second Sunday in Advent:

Isaiah 11:1-10
Psalm 72:1-7, 18-19 (7)
Romans 15:4-13
Matthew 3:1-12


God of hope,
It's been one heck of an Advent so far
loved ones diagnosed with cancer
expectations built high for sharing and time,
finances stretched.

Work your Word to us past our busy-ness,
through familiar friends
or through the wild and weird like your servant John.

Turn us around to remember, prepare, and focus--
not for the expectations others have
or on lists of things to buy and do,
but for your coming presence, frightening in its pure justice,
hopeful in your wide welcome.

Help us prepare for you
by practicing love and justice
here and now
with the gifts you have given us already.
Amen.



© 2007 Erik Doughty. Permission to reproduce this work is granted only when the author is credited.

Love, Justice, Vengence and Grace

‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” 44But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 46For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? 47And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,* what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
-Matthew 5:43-48

I decided to call my parents back home in Michigan tonight to find out how they were doing. Mom answered first, like she always does and we started chatting. At some point, she talked about a horrific crime just outside of Detroit. My mother expressed rage at the sheer savagery of the crime and saw this man as the perfect candidate for the death penalty.

Now, you have to know something about Mom: she is dead set against the death penalty. She doesn't approve of it on biblical grounds. So, for her to suggest this is somewhat shocking. Of course, she calmed down, but she explained the crime was terrible, that it was impossible to not simply react in this way towards one who would commit such an evil.

Later this evening, I ran into another blog where a pastor hoped the wrongdoer would get an ass-pounding in prison. He later regretted those remarks, somewhat.

The two incidents have me thinking about Jesus' message to love everyone, including our enemies and how that smacks up against real life and real evil. Pastors and lay people hang on to the fact that Jesus seemed to love those that weren't considered the proper people in society. On paper that seems wonderful. But how to does it hold up to child molesters? What about war criminals? Rapists? Not so easy to love them, huh?

My tamed cynical self tends to look at those who preach this easy love as fools somewhat-blind to the real evil that takes place in the world. The sad fact is that no matter how loving we are to our enemies, the enemies still rape and kill.

I think we are called to love everybody in the world. But I also know we live in the real world. We are also called to work for justice and part of my mother's anger was the injustice of it all. We live in a world where there is evil and part of us wants to respond not in love, with vengence: to make them pay for their crimes. No forgiveness, no second chance, just blow the motherfucker away.

Psalm 137 is called the Cursing Psalm. It was written in a time of stress, probably as the Israelites were ripped from all they knew to a foreign land.

Read along:

By the rivers of Babylon—
there we sat down and there we wept
when we remembered Zion.
2On the willows* there
we hung up our harps.
3For there our captors
asked us for songs,
and our tormentors asked for mirth, saying,
‘Sing us one of the songs of Zion!’


4How could we sing the Lord’s song
in a foreign land?
5If I forget you, O Jerusalem,
let my right hand wither!
6Let my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth,
if I do not remember you,
if I do not set Jerusalem
above my highest joy.


7Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites
the day of Jerusalem’s fall,
how they said, ‘Tear it down! Tear it down!
Down to its foundations!’
8O daughter Babylon, you devastator!*
Happy shall they be who pay you back
what you have done to us!
9Happy shall they be who take your little ones
and dash them against the rock!

Hmmm, somehow I don't think you hear this Psalm much in Sunday worship services.

The fact is, the psalmist was sad at all the destruction. His town was destroyed by vandals. He wasn't interested in seeking understanding- he wanted his pound of flesh. He wanted to hurt them as much he was hurt. This passage reminds me of how many felt after September 11. In the devastation of the World Trade Center towers, there was a rage to strike back and kick some ass. Some chastised this feeling, but the fact is, it is natural-it is human.

We are called to love, but as Christians we have to also be aware of our own feelings . Yes, we can love evil people, but we are also called to do justice, so seeing the injustice of innocents dying in buildings, or a young child not being able to live out a full life gets us angry.

And yet we have to move beyond our anger and love these people anyway. We are called to love them and pray for them.

The thing is, when we think these thoughts of vengance, we also know that God understands and gives us grace. We are loved even when we find it hard to love.

Advent reminds us that the world is not okay, but that God has a plan. Please, Lord God, come to our aid.

Advent Songs

Growing up, I remember singing lots of Christmas hymns now at this time of year. It was fun.

As I got into seminary and thereafter, I met people who really didn't believe in singing Christmas hymns until Christmas. Okay, I thought, but what the hell are you gonna sing? I knew one of my favorite hymns -O Come, O Come, Emmanuel- was an Advent song, but there were few others that I knew. In time, I have found that there are a good number of songs to sing during Advent, which I think is a good thing for anyone dealing with depression or a death of a loved one or just not being very interested in trying to be all cheery. We sang two in church this morning:

• Awake, Awake and Greet the New Morn, by my favorite hymnwriter, Marty Haugen;

• Creator of the Stars of Night.

There are others that I have found out as great hymns like Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence and a few others. I'm not opposed to singing a few Christmas hymns before Christmas, but it is good that these hymns take precedence over the usual Christmas hymns. Why? Look at the lyrics to Awake, Awake:

Awake! awake, and greet the new morn,
an angel heralds its dawning,
sing out your joy, for Christ will be born,
God's gift, this Child of our longing.
Christ comes as a baby weak and poor,
to bring all hearts together,
to open wide the heavenly door,
and live here inside us forever.

To everyone who sorrows or fears,
Emmanuel comes asinging;
the humble song is quiet and clear,
but fills the earth with its ringing.
Music to heal the broken soul
and hymns of loving kindness,
the thunder of the anthems roll
to shatter all hate and injustice.

In deepest night Christ's coming shall be,
when all the world is despairing.
Where people long to love and be free,
Christ comes to speak of God's caring.
A soul without voice breaks forth in song,
a lame one leaps in wonder,
the weak are raised above the strong,
and weapons are broken asunder.

Rejoice, rejoice, take heart in the night,
though winds blow wildly and cheerless,
the rising sun shall crown you with light,
be strong and loving and fearless.
Love be our song and love our prayer,
and love, our endless story,
may God fill every day we share,
and bring us at last into glory.

Music: Rejoice, Rejoice Marty Haugen (20th C)
Words: Marty Haugen (20th C)
Sequence: Cathouse Pandemonium, Ltd.

This song speaks to those struggling with life. It tells people that hope is on the way, in the most unexpected form. I don't know if this is an American thing, but we tend to skip some important parts of the Christian life. We skip Holy Week and Good Friday and go straight to Easter. We skip Advent and go the little baby born in a stable. But that's only part of the story. Soley focusing on Easter when Jesus is raised from the dead or when Christ is born is to forget the pain that we are faced with and what God entered in. Advent reminds us that things are not okay, which is why God came in the form of a little baby.

So, I will look forward to these hymns. They give me hope and remind me that the God I worship entered into human pain and knows what I feel. I am reminded God is my hope. Amen.

You Gotta Have Hope

When we first began dating, my husband Daniel gave me polished stone with the word "peace" on it. I decided to go to the same store and give him another polished stone with the word "hope" on it.

There was meaning behind the stone I have to Daniel because hope is such an important word for me, such a needed word.

I've dealt with what I would call a low-grade depression for years. Medication has helped lessen the effects, but every so often something will happen that pushes me into a bleak valley. My closest friends and loved ones have seen how I can act- I become quiet. Deep down inside, I can tell you how I feel-despair. Utter despair.

Despair is of course the exact opposite of hope. It's when you think things will never change and when things will always be dark and bleak.

It has only been because of the sweet love of others that I have been able to come out of the valley of despair.

So, when I gave Daniel the stone, it meant a lot. Hope is something I have to hang on to.

Tomorrow begins Advent. Being the grouch that I am, I really don't like the whole consumerization of Christmas, so I focus on Advent. Advent isn't a time to "happy" as those whole "Christmas Spirit" demands, but it ask us to be hopeful, which on a good day, I can muster.

In Christ we have hope. What does that mean? For me, I think it means that we have someone to look forward to; someone that is with us when times are bad and helps us see God's kingdom in the here and now. In Christ we have the future hope when there will be a day when all of God's creation will be healed and as the old song goes, there will be no more cryin', no more dyin'.

This is year has been hard emotionally on me. Seeing a church close is a lot like a death in the family. It makes you wonder what hope there is. I sit here in the great unknown, wondering if I will ever get back into parish ministry.

But I have to have hope. Not hope that I will get what I want, but that God is with me seeing me through. While I no longer have a church to do ministry at, I have been doing more supply preaching than ever before and I do wonder where that will lead. It might lead to something I had never thought of or considered. Maybe all this dreaming to start a church again will lead to something, who knows.

My four year old nephew Issac told us all after the death of his grandfather that "everything will be alright." A cynic like myself could dismiss that, but I can't-he's right. Everything will be alright- not in some sort of fairy tale happy ending, but it will be alright because God is with us in the form of Christ.

Danny Bradfield, a fellow Disciples minister, says that Advent reminds us that hope wins out over fear. He notes:

Every year, I give thanks for Advent, which comes at the darkest time of the year (at least here in the northern hemisphere). There is a lot of darkness in our world and in our lives, and a lot of fear. But Advent brings with it hope. It brings with it the angel's message: "Fear not! I bring you good news of great joy!" And as I begin getting ready for Christmas (we're getting our tree today!), hope grows strong, and fear ... well, fear remains, but as long as I hold on to hope, I know that fear will not triumph. With hope, fear is tamed -- the tiger is tamed -- and, though the journey is long and difficult, I will make it to that distant shore.

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

Dreaming of a Church, Part Two

Okay, time to start dreaming again.

In a previous post, I talked about what kind of church I am interested in. I wanted to do some more thinking about this, so here it goes.

• It would be a place where church is not a place, but a people on the move. I know this sounds incredibly cliche, but I want to do things like have theological chats in coffee shops. But I want to go farther than that. I know some emerging churches do things like "theology pubs" which are cool, and I want to do one: in a gay bar.
  
  Before you consider me daft, remember this: I am gay and I have met a lot of people in the bars. Community of Grace was Open and Affirming and few went to our services. I learned the hard way that many people have been hurt by church, so asking them to come to church ain't gonna work. So, why not bring it to them? I've been thinking about asking one of local bars to allow me to host something where people can talk and chat about Jesus, God or whatever else.
  
  Would people wonder what this crazy pastor is doing? Yes, but they think that way already. Next.

More to come...

Belay That Post

You know, I could say that my last post was written by my evil twin, Dwight. The thing is, I'm an only child so I don't think could make that stick.

I don't think racism has anything to do with my predicament. It took 24 hours and the haze of depression to tell me otherwise.

That said, that doesn't mean I'm feeling better about my predicament. I just know that the reason behind it was wrong.

I'm not going to go into my thoughts here at this point. Actually, I think it might be time to seek some wiser counsel. Just keep me in your prayers.

Race, Mainline and Emergent, Part One

Growing up as a young black man in the seventies and eighties, my parents always reminded me that it was a rough world out there for African Americans. My especially, grew up in the Jim Crow South, so he knew racism upfront in the form of segregated schools, restaurants and hotels. My mom, who grew up in Puerto Rico, didn't face as much racism back home, but did get noticed for her accent once she hit the mainland.

As a kid growing up in the aftermath of the civil rights movement, I didn't always take heed to my parents warnings. Outright segregation had been outlawed and blacks and whites were getting along for the most part. Racism was something of the past, or so I thought.

These days, I am not so sure. Oh, I still believe that outright racism is dead and buried, but the ghosts still linger on, and I think I've found a place where those ghosts reside:

The church.

I don't make this assumption lightly, but I've wondered at times that as I move about in a largely white denomination, if race gets in the way of my advancing. I have seen some of my colleagues find positions with little ease, while at times I feel that I have to jump several hoops to even be considered. For example, I've known a few people who have found interim positions without having interim training, and yet when I ask about positions, I am told more often than not that I need training. Now, in most cases my colleagues are in different denominations, but the fact is, they tend to have an easier entry into pastoral positions than I do.

A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a Lutheran pastor friend of mine. She was surprised that I haven't been "snapped up" because I am African American and because I preach well. I couldn't answer why that hasn't been the case. I know that I am not perfect and have things to work on, but I also know that I have skills and have been ignored when opportunities come calling.

I then start to think about the wider church. Look around, especially in mainline bodies and you will find that persons of color seldom pastor churches that are majority white. It just doesn't happen that much.

I don't think that there is some conspiracy against me. I don't think there are people sitting in some denominational office saying "We've got to keep this black man away from our white Christians." What I think is happening is more unintentional and based on assumptions more than anything else. I think a lot of people from those sitting in the pews to those in middle judicatories think they know black people and think they know their congregation. I tend to think some people see a black guy like me and think I will want to be among my own kind in some inner city church, instead of out in the burbs. They also think that congregations are not so welcoming to people like me, so they steer me away from such churches. They assume the parishioners will be racist and make my life a living hell. I also think some people in those churches are afraid that they will say something that will be construed as racist and that I will get mad...yada, yada, yada.

The thing is, I just want to be a pastor. I like urban churches, but I would settle for a suburban church. I just want to frickn' preach the gospel. I just want to do ministry with people. I wish people would stop looking at my skin and just see Dennis frickin' Sanders.

I think one the problems with living in Minnesota is that white people are really scared of dealing with race. They think they are so "progressive" that they don't want to admit they might have some issues to work on. At least in the South people are honest. The thing is, I don't really care about all the hangups. I mean, none of us are perfect and yes, even black people have racial and ethnic issues to deal with. Maybe we should just deal with them as the broken people that we are and stop trying being so perfect.

I don't know if the people who have to deal with calling a pastor can ever get over themselves. And I don't know how long I can wait. I would love to do ministry here in Minnesota, but if I keep hitting the same locked doors, then maybe it's time to "shake the dust off my feet" and move on to greener pastures.

I majored in journalism when I was in college. One day a friend of mine said there were jobs available as copy editors at the college newspaper. I was excitied and went to the newspaper where the editor told me there were no openings. My friend was amazed since she had heard her boss say they needed more people.

It's been nearly twenty years since that happened and I can still remember it. I hope that this isn't history repeating itself.

All I want to be is be a pastor. That's all.

It's All About Relationships or Jesus and Java

Sometimes the best teachers are not the ones that have PhDs.

For the last few years, I have been blessed to know Tammy. She is the Associate at Lake Harriet Christian and is truly a woman that is deeply connected to God. She is a licensed minister in the Disciples, which means that sometimes she gets looked down on because she wasn't seminary trained like most of us. She might have not been trained at a seminary, but she has learned from life, which sadly is sometimes more than what some of us ordained folks have.

We tend to spend a lot of time talking about things, especially church. One thing that has stayed with me is her belief that church is all about relationships, or at least it should be. A friend and pillar in the church remarked a few months back that when her father died a few years ago, the pastor she called was not the Senior Minister, but Tammy-because Tammy was in relationship with her.

I have to admit, when I was with Community of Grace, I wasn't really interested in relationships. I was trained to do good sermons, to learn how to do exegesis, to do good pastoral care, and all the rest, but I wasn't taught how to be a good friend to people. The result is that more often than not I was interested in bringing people to church than I was in simply being Christ to them.

As I look at the Disciple churches here in Minnesota, I worry that we tend to be more concerned about getting members than we are about being like Jesus. Jesus seemed to create followers not by offering some cool program, but by simply reaching out to people. He seemed to connect with people and care for them.

I'm beginning to wonder if some of the best ways to be church is to have a conversation with a friend over coffee than it is about trying to get them to come to church. (Which is good, since I love coffee.)

What I like about the whole emergent conversation is that in many ways, it is trying to bring back the sense of incarnation, the Word made flesh. I remember thinking how wonderful it was that God became flesh, became one of us. And the thing is, God continues to enflesh God's self in God's creation all the time. The Holy can come while sipping a latte with a friend or stranger.

Something to think about...

Tuesday Prayer

Another Tuesday prayer from Erik. Again, if you are interested in using these prayers, please email him.








Tuesday prayer based on texts for the First Sunday of Advent:

Isaiah 2:1-5
Psalm 122 (1)
Romans 13:11-14
Matthew 24:36-44




Start us on a journey to wholeness, Lord;
root us in your Word;
nourish us with living water.

We doze in the ways we've always done things--
Rouse us, Lord, in preparation for your arrival.
Help us to dress light-ly, to work for just peace,
to live in ways that honor you, your creation, and our neighbors.

We need you, and we are waiting.
Amen.





© 2007 Erik Doughty. Permission to reproduce this work is granted only when the author is credited.

Married Black Male seeks Community...

Hi, my name is Dennis Sanders and I'm a Disciples of Christ pastor living in Minnesota. I am also seeking standing in the UCC.

I've been kind of in limbo doing some supply preaching as I figure out where God might be leading me next. One place I feel led is church planting, but more than simply planting a church and seeing if people come. I'm looking at really bringing community in some shape or form (that seems to be what the church is all about according to Acts 2). I'm looking at gathering folks to come together for prayer, worship and mission and to do as our General Minister and President Sharon Watkins has said, bring the church to the world and not the world to the church.

I'm really interested in doing things like fostering relationships with people and sharing my faith in ways that aren't basically a way of recruitment, having time for prayer gatherings with others in the community, offering contemplative worship and space for silence and mission into the wider world through our offerings and ourselves.

I guess I'm trying to see if there are any other fellow travelers in the DOC and UCC who would be interested in journeying together and being a church plant. I have to believe there are people in the Cities who hunger for want to make churches a true community and not a club.

If you live the Twin Cities (or know someone who lives in the Twin Cities) and are interested, please let me know.

Prayerfully waiting...

Happy Thanksgiving

Last night, I helped a dear friend of mine by being an fill-in ringer in his bell choir at a Methodist Church in town. We played "Come Ye Thankful People Come." I wanted to leave you with that hymn on this Thanksgiving. Thanks be to God!







Come, ye thankful people, come,
Raise the song of harvest home;
All is safely gathered in,
Ere the winter storms begin.
God our Maker doth provide
For our wants to be supplied;
Come to God's own temple, come,
Raise the song of harvest home.

Get to Planning

"A dream is a goal without a plan."

Someone on a social networking site I frequent said that today regarding something not related to church. It made me think about my own goals of being a minister in a church and especially my interest in planting a new church...again. I've been talking about dreams recently on this blog, but I think I need to stop dreaming and start doing.

When I started Community of Grace, I did it without any planning. I just asked people if they were interested to do this thing I was interested in and it started. That's classic ADHD me, but that's really not the way I should have done things. I should have taken time to meet with people who have started churches, talked extensively with the Regional staff and local churches and find a group of people who would commit to being a part of this community for a period of time. But before all of that, I needed to spell out what kind of church God was calling me to plant.

Dreams are nice, but they are just that...dreams. They don't really have a plan to them. Visions are more thought out...and tend to be more God centered than human centered dreams.

So, I will be chatting sometime in the future with the pastors at Mercy Seat in Minneapolis and maybe chatting with some members of the Twin Cities Emergent Cohort. Gather the information and develop a plan. The sticky is chatting with the local congregations who are are in a state of change (several of them are without or soon going to be without pastors) and might not be receptive to some upstart church that they fear would take away members. But maybe talking to them will help, and I truly believe it takes a village to plant a church.

To heck with dreaming...I'm going to vision!

Tuesday Prayer

My best friend Erik is a confirmed liturgy geek. We met in seminary and he was my first love. He is trying to be patient as the ELCA tries work on the whole "practicing gay clergy" issue so that he can finish his seminary training and be a pastor. In the meantime, this good Lutheran is writing weekly prayers. I asked him if I could share these prayers and he said "yes" provided people ask permission first. You can do that by emailing him.

Here is his prayer for Christ the King Sunday.
Tuesday prayer based on texts for Christ the King Sunday:


Jeremiah 23:1-6
Psalm 46 (Ps. 46:10)
Colossians 1:11-20
Luke 23:33-43



The cross became your throne, Christ Jesus;
in those moments your life became our life
and the power of death died with you.
We live, though, now and not-yet;
your people, yet still pulled by powers and vices;
old habits, bitter grudges, illness and grief.
We strike out on our own
and find ourselves overwhelmed, discouraged.

Hold us together, Lord, when we are scattered.
Drive away our fear, even as the earth changes before us.
Make our wars, of bullets and ideas, end.
Silence the chatter pervading our lives
if it distracts us from you.
Direct us; remind us; entice us again to love you,
to love one another,
to listen for the Holy Spirit's guidance,
to care for the earth, and
to serve our neighbors.
Amen.




© 2007 Erik Doughty. Permission to reproduce this work is granted only when the author is credited.